i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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