there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
