just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize