can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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