Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
