if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize