Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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