Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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