I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
