He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't turn off my feet"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
