We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
