I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
