Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
