Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
