dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize