Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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