I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize
