She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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