Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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