are you still at the devil's house?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
