Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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