I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize