Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
