Say something about gay babies.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
