did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize