kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
