I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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