Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
