do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
