He asked me if I "almost moaned"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize