I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
