I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
