A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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