When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
