Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I puked a lego.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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