Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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