but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize