Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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