i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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