you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
