I wanna bring you to show and tell
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
this is an emotional support booty call
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
