I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize