I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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