Your mouth is God's brothel.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
