Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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