And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
