I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize