How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
