so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
