I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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