Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
