It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
