I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
