Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
