I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
