You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
