I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
