I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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