Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
