Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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