Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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