I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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