What a fucking waste of an outfit
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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