why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
