he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize